This is the collaborative journal of W.C. Chambers and J.R. Bowman. Read. Wonder. Reply. Thanks for stopping by.
Saturday, December 10, 2005,12:32 PM
The Good, the Bad, and the Nice
There is much to be said about the bad boy in matters of seduction. There is an air of excitement and mystery that surrounds that type. Women are easily pulled in by thier image. Deep down however the bad boy is a softee. He puts on a show of dominance, strength, and power to protect himself from being injured by those around him. At his core the bad boy is a poet. Notice the passion in the lyrics of a rocker, the commitment and comradery of a biker, and the familial love and devotion of a fighter. The bad boy then is nothing more than a scared little child looking for security and belongingness. The reason he lashes out is to shield that weak inner child from critisism and rejection. Bad boys especially lash out at nice guys who remind them of how insecure they really are.
The saying is that the bad boy always finishes first in the seduction of women and nice guys always finish last. The nice guy is reduced to becomming friends with women and counseling them on why thier bad boy boyfriends always mistreat them. Then the nice guy goes away and moans and complains about why he is single. The nice guy, like the bad boy, is too hiding his inner child from critisism and rejection. But in this instance the nice guy acts so kind and gentle that it is impossible for people to treat him badly. There is an inner rage inside of the nice guy but that rage is often directed toward the self rather than toward others. This then creates a picture of weakness, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence. These three characteristics are very unnerving to women who respond in a mothering fashion. The nice guy then is forced to remain in a purely plutonic relationship until he can find a woman who has a strong need to mother.
When it comes to gaining the attention and admiration of women there is a stronger pull to becomming a bad boy then there is a nice guy. But there is another, 3rd group, that is often overlooked. This group is that of the good guy. The good guy does not feel insecure inside and therefore has no need to lash out at others or to act in a pollyannalike fashion to protect the self. The good guy is a man of morals, disipline, and intellect. He is fierce at one moment and comforting the next depending on what the situation calls for. But too often the good guy is classified into the same category as the nice guy. This is because of the good guys lack of disregard for others, spontaneity, and rough image.
The reason the bad boy is prefered over a nice guy is because the bad boy appears to be more of a man. His rebeliousness gives the illusion of confidence and independence whereas the nice guys open emotions paint a picture of insecurity and dependence. Don't be fooled though. In times of pressure or crisis both the bad boy and the nice guy crumble. It is the good guy who in these times stands tall and takes charge. While the bad run away and the nice withdraw inside themselves the good push forward and all hell can't stop him.
The saying is that the bad boy always finishes first in the seduction of women and nice guys always finish last. The nice guy is reduced to becomming friends with women and counseling them on why thier bad boy boyfriends always mistreat them. Then the nice guy goes away and moans and complains about why he is single. The nice guy, like the bad boy, is too hiding his inner child from critisism and rejection. But in this instance the nice guy acts so kind and gentle that it is impossible for people to treat him badly. There is an inner rage inside of the nice guy but that rage is often directed toward the self rather than toward others. This then creates a picture of weakness, low self-esteem, and low self-confidence. These three characteristics are very unnerving to women who respond in a mothering fashion. The nice guy then is forced to remain in a purely plutonic relationship until he can find a woman who has a strong need to mother.
When it comes to gaining the attention and admiration of women there is a stronger pull to becomming a bad boy then there is a nice guy. But there is another, 3rd group, that is often overlooked. This group is that of the good guy. The good guy does not feel insecure inside and therefore has no need to lash out at others or to act in a pollyannalike fashion to protect the self. The good guy is a man of morals, disipline, and intellect. He is fierce at one moment and comforting the next depending on what the situation calls for. But too often the good guy is classified into the same category as the nice guy. This is because of the good guys lack of disregard for others, spontaneity, and rough image.
The reason the bad boy is prefered over a nice guy is because the bad boy appears to be more of a man. His rebeliousness gives the illusion of confidence and independence whereas the nice guys open emotions paint a picture of insecurity and dependence. Don't be fooled though. In times of pressure or crisis both the bad boy and the nice guy crumble. It is the good guy who in these times stands tall and takes charge. While the bad run away and the nice withdraw inside themselves the good push forward and all hell can't stop him.
